If all goes well, tonight I will sleep in my own bed … the end of a two-week pilgrimage of love. The trip was motivated by love for a member of our family, and I chose to experience the journey as a personal pilgrimage for me, an intentional engaging with the unknown for the purposes of discovering more about myself.
Will my pilgrimage be completed when I reach home?
I don’t think so.
Over the past few days as we’ve been making our way back north, I’ve been aware of myriad feelings. As I’ve allowed what I feel to just be, without trying to explain it or change it, I’ve experienced a gently growing awareness that I can choose whether the pilgrimage ends when we are no longer on the road.
When we left, I set the intention to allow myself to be changed by the journey. I can feel that has happened. Now is not the time to try to wrap words around the change. In this moment, it’s enough to feel that change has occurred.
It would be so easy when I return to the familiar to let its routines and duties disconnect me from what has sprouted during our journey. Especially with the Christmas season upon us, I could quickly get swept up into what needs to be done, and when, and what’s next.
As I watch the road signs go by on this last day of travel, I am setting a new intention …. that I will stay close to what has shifted inwardly. I have had many experiences of allowing love to touch me. I feel stretched and opened by who I interacted with and what I saw. Now I want to use the final weeks of 2022 to be gently attentive to my inner spaces, to allow the little sprigs of awareness grow stronger roots.
I will have more to say when the seedlings are sturdier.