New Year Blessings to you!
It’s one of those “fresh start” times in the year, a time when we think about what we might like to accomplish in the coming months. We see a lot of articles and social media posts about setting meaningful goals, making resolutions that stick, and becoming the “best version” of ourselves.
So much of this advice is subtly, or not-so-subtly, linked to what we think we “should” be doing, accomplishing or being. It carries a message of not enough—who and what and how I am in this moment is inadequate, and with sufficient planning and will-power I can be better.
One thing I can say for sure from my lifetime experience so far is that an objective rooted in “should” or based on the perception of current insufficiency is doomed to failure. It’s a scramble up a slippery slope without any realistic handholds. All it takes is a missed step, or an unexpected turn, and all my effort seems fruitless. I give up the struggle to “be better”.
An approach that has proved much more gentle and nourishing for me has been to listen for the invitation of the new season. What do I feel drawn toward? What does my heart long for? What has meaning for me in this moment? Where do I experience joy?
This perspective gives me a sense of being enticed by something, rather than pushing myself toward it.
For example, many people make a resolution to improve their eating habits or be more consistent at doing physical exercise. The goal-setting method usually attaches success to a number on the scale, or number of workouts in the week. Because we are humans, rather than machines, we experience ebbs and flows in this version of success. All it takes is a respiratory virus or a big project at work, and our “achievement” is sideswiped by life, maybe even negated by our reaching for our go-to comfort snacks and easy meals.
However, perhaps my invitation for the year is to care for my body more mindfully. For me, this does include having a regular practice of physical exercise and choosing foods that support my overall health. These are not arbitrary goals (although I do love a good challenge). This invites me into a posture of listening inwardly to what my body needs and wants. This form of nourishment includes regular rest, and thoroughly enjoying a slice of tiramisu cake my Favourite Person buys as a surprise for me, as well as sweaty workouts and big veggie-rich salads.
Invitations leave us room to respond to what circumstances bring us. They arise from our souls, and always beckon us into a more caring relationships with ourselves, our emotions, and our experiences.
The invitation that is continuing to whisper to me right now is to let myself notice Joy. It is so easy for me to get caught up in trying to accomplish this or that that I give only glancing attention to that which delights me. There is also so much in the world around us that makes my heart heavy and stirs anxiety. I’m feeling a soul-reminder of the need to make room for lightheartedness, brief though it may be.
Invitations also shift as the year unfolds. When a new one beckons, we are free to turn in that direction without any guilt tethering us to the previous one. Invitations are like the sails on a boat that shift and turn with the prevailing wind. They help us respond to life as it unfolds, rather than feeling overwhelmed by the inevitable changes and challenges.
Invitations are subtle. In order to sense them, we need to be attentive to our soul-practices, listening for what arises in our times of solitude, rest, and inner listening. Invitations arrive gradually, perhaps building in awareness during the final week of the old year, or perhaps unfolding gently in the first month of the new year. Perhaps they even wait until spring to make themselves heard … more about that next week.
What do you feel inviting you in this new year? What soul-practices help you hear and tend that invitation?
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