For those of us who love the game of hockey and/or followed the Olympic hockey tournament, a locker room event and subsequent player choices, have stirred so many feelings. There are so many layers to how this situation happened and what it shows us about toxic masculinity and flawed leadership.
My spiritual practices remind me that what is most important for me to consider is what does this situation teach me about myself. For me, all of the threads come back to power and our relationship with it.
When we think about power, we most commonly think of “power over”. This was on full display, and it always involves “punching down”, making sure there is someone else who is deemed inferior. There are others who have spoken far more eloquently about this kind of power and the harm that it does, both to those who wield it and those who suffer because of it.
This is actually the least refined form of power. There is also “power with”, power that is about “us” rather than “me”. We see this most vividly in times of crisis, when there is a banding together to support those who have suffered natural disaster or personal upheaval. It is demonstrated in nonviolent protests, solidarity movements and actions, and speaking out on behalf of the vulnerable. This is a power that seeks to elevate everyone in the community, recognizing that we are only as healthy as the most vulnerable among us.
However, I believe a third kind of power is just as necessary, and that’s “power within”.
Power with and power within grow from one another, and neither of them can flourish without the other.
Power within is a knowing of who I am and what matters to me. We are born with the seeds of it, and depending on our early environment, it either begins to flourish or gets stifled by the necessity to conform.
It is a rare individual who reaches adulthood with a strong sense of power within. So many forces and factors in our culture work against the cultivation of this inner knowing.
Power within knows my worth is innate, and has nothing to do with external markers.
Power within recognizes the value of making conscious choices, responding to the world around me rather than reacting.
Power within has nothing to prove, to myself or to anyone else.
Power within honours both my own needs, and the needs of those around me, in equal measure.
Power within is deeply aware that my thriving is inseparable from the thriving of my community.
Power within honours my own vulnerability, which then enables me to honour the vulnerability in anyone else I meet.
If we are not acquainted with our own inner knowing, our own power within, we will continuously seek to fill the void with the illusion of power provided by external sources. We will buy into the cultural narrative that power is related to possessions, titles or outward recognition. It is in this loss of inner connection that we fall prey to going along with the crowd, or allowing our silence to imply our consent to the demeaning or dehumanization of another.
Power within also recognizes that our strength isn’t found in uniformity of belief or perspective, but rather in honouring diversity. What I consider Truth doesn’t have to conform to what you consider to be Truth for us to still be valued companions to one another, provided we are both willing to honour our common humanity and the humanity of those around us.
When we are connected to our power within, we are not easily controlled by outside forces. We know our own Truth, and we trust our inner guidance system which is connected to the greater Truth, also known as Spirit or the Divine, or many other names. We recognize how interwoven we are with all of humanity and with the very earth we call our home.
Power with and power within create a woven fabric that holds us all. No pedestals or hierarchies of value exist here. There is an honouring of what each of us brings to the community, a recognition that not everyone has the same skills, talents or insights. It is the interweaving of each our contributions that brings beauty to the whole.
Our purpose in this lifetime is to grow our connection to our power within, to discover the Truth of who we are and live that out into the world. The isn’t a linear journey with a specific destination, but rather a cyclical process of discovery. It includes stumbles and recovery, forgetting who I am and rediscovering myself, periods of weariness and moments of illumination.
We cannot do this work in isolation. We need trusted companions and trustworthy guides. We need community.
This is what motivates me in my work as a writer, spiritual director and workshop faclitator—helping us all continue to discover and reconnect with our inner truth. I love companioning other in the process of discovering their inner knowing, their individual expression of the Divine. Let’s grow together the power that lifts us all.
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