One of the biggest challenges in connecting with our inner wisdom is learning to accept the validity of what we know inwardly. We have been taught and trained to only trust what comes to us from an outside source. It takes time and practice to learn (or perhaps more correctly, remember) that the wisdom of our souls is its own validation. We can trust it.
This is especially true when it comes to the truth found in the very core of our inner wisdom—our inner worth.
From the moment of our birth, so many influences have affected our perception of our own worth. I’ve written often about these influences, so I won’t belabour the point here. However, by the time we reach adulthood, most of us have been thoroughly indoctrinated in the belief that my worth is dependent on a) my productivity and b) what other people think about it or me.
Because we humans are wired for connection and belonging, the lack of these is tracked by our nervous system as danger. Thus, we are also evolutionarily wired to search for and notice any and all signs of loss of connection and lack of belonging.
In other words, we often feel like we live on a knife edge of losing that which we most need for survival, and we are constantly scanning our environment for signals of threat.
This is why that which plays in our imaginations on repeat at 2am is not the lovely moments of welcome and care we experienced during the day, but rather every single thing we’ve ever done that felt foolish, stupid or inept.
But here is the Truth that nothing can ever change—you and I are valuable and worthy and precious simply because we exist.
Learning to tune in to our inner wisdom includes learning to connect with that whisper of truth about ourselves, and trust it.
But how do we cultivate this trust?
The first step is to recognize that our internal truth is just as true (and I would suggest even more so) than any external feedback or messaging.
The next step is to choose to believe it.
This sounds easy, and it does become easier with practice. But in the early stages, it feels like wandering off into an unknown land without a map. We have been actively taught to mistrust our own internal guidance system, so we have to actively choose (repeatedly) to honour it.
One helpful practice in growing this inner trust is to consciously remember something nice that someone said about you or to you. What words did they use? What prompted them to say it? Was it said privately or in a public setting? How did you feel when you heard what they said? Recalling as much detail as possible puts our nervous system and our heart back in that moment of affirmation.
Then, consciously allow yourself to accept the affirmation. Imagine the words like a cooling balm on a sunburn. Feel the comfort of it soak into you, and consciously accept the connection and belonging communicated.
How does that feel in this moment? Perhaps you still feel some resistance to letting those words become part of you, and that’s okay. Even letting them in just a little bit is healing.
Our instinctive reaction when someone offers us affirmation is to push it back at them, which keeps it from landing inside us. To be honest, it feels really vulnerable to hear someone’s positive opinion of us. It is so nourishing and so heart-healing, we’re afraid to let it touch us for fear that it’s not real, or that it could be retracted in a second.
But to begin trusting our inner wisdom, we have to practice believing the good and the beautiful about ourselves, and that starts with believing others’ affirming words. It is good for our hearts to be reminded of the love that is around us, and good for our souls to practice receiving that love.
When we intentionally recall an affirmation that has come our way, and honour it with our attention, it is very likely that then other similar experiences will surface in our memory. The more we honour each of them, the more easily we’ll remember others. Allowing ourselves to recall, feel, and receive these words will nourish our connection with our inner wisdom, and our inner knowing of our own worth.
Do everything you can to tend your own soul-light. Our world needs more light.
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