Notes for a Heavy Day

On a day similar to this in 2016, I signed off Facebook and didn’t sign on again until March 2020 when I needed community. This time around, I want to keep showing up. My reach on social media isn’t very big, but with what reach I have, I want to hold up a light for anyone who needs to see one.

I am feeling so many things this morning, none of them comfortable. Mostly I am grieving that tribalism seems to have won. I feel fear for what might now be unleashed. There is also some anger to which I am listening to hear what right action is mine to do.

For today, it is grief that is most present. If you are also grieving, I am sitting with you, and I invite you to sit with me.

Be ever so gentle with yourself today. As those of us who are grieving grieve together, here are some suggestions for caring for yourself. 

1. Breathe. It sounds cliche, but it’s deeply true. When our nervous systems are activated, we tend to breathe more shallowly, which deprives our entire body of the oxygen that helps us function. Remind yourself regularly today to breathe deep, three to five deep belly inhales and full exhales. Even if you only remember twice, your body will appreciate it.
2. Surround yourself with softness. I chose my softest, comfiest clothes today, because I don’t have to dress “professionally”. Perhaps you need your favourite sweater with you at work, or a cozy shawl to drape across your shoulders. Whatever feels gentle, choose that.
3. Drink lots of water. Yes, you hear this often, but it’s so helpful. When we are emotionally distressed, we tend to forget our most basic needs, and also tend to reach for foods and beverages that will give us a serotonin boost. You make the choices you need to make to get you through the day … and also choose water. Your body and your nervous system need the hydration.
4. Give yourself the gift of a nap. You likely didn’t have your best sleep last night, so let yourself rest sometime today, even if only for 10 minutes.
5. Do some kind of physical movement. Knitting and crocheting are movement, and they have the added benefit of soothing the nervous system through bilateral motion. There’s also walking, or going to the gym if that’s your thing. It doesn’t matter how you move. Just move your body. It helps the emotions move through.
6. Choose an act of kindness today. No kindness is ever too small, and we need as much kindness as we can find today.
7. Notice something beautiful. Take time to appreciate it deeply.
8. Remember that you are light. When the grief eases, you will feel your light again.

We are all in this together.