As I watched Hadestown, a musical retelling of the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, I couldn’t help but notice the companionship that each of them had, for better or for worse. The Three Fates were always close at hand, sometimes reminding them of their choices and sometimes highlighting their greatest fears. Those who had already made their bargain with Hades and were now trapped in Hadestown were witnesses of each of the lovers’ journeys into the underworld. Queen Persephone not only witnessed each journey, but intervened on the lovers’ behalf.
In the initation rites practiced by indigenous cultures, as I understand them, the initiate must go through certain experiences by themselves, and yet they are never completely alone. A wise one is always keeping watch from a distance. Other initiation experiences are done in the company of a circle of elders, a container of companionship, as it were. Whether it is a single companion watching from afar, or a gathering of wise ones participating in the ritual, there is always a witness to the process who is also prepared to intervene should the challenge become more than the initiate can meet.
It is natural to think of our soul-initiation experiences as isolating and lonely. They are, after all, very personal. No one can go through them for us. However, their intensely personal nature makes the presence of wise companions all the more important.
One of the characteristics of abduction experiences is that we feel utterly alone in the orientation and heartbreak of it. Even when our losses are experienced with others, no one has the same relationship to whatever or whoever we are grieving as we do. The territory of our hearts is as personal as it gets. No one else can experience my heart as I do.
It is not uncommon in the depths of these experiences to feel as if “I should be handling it better”, as if the depth of our heartache is because we are somehow deficient.
The truth is that these experiences are meant to shatter the masks that we use to present ourselves to world. Their purpose is to introduce us to the truth of who we are, to shake us up so completely that we discover the gold we carry within.
This is far easier said than lived.
Because it is so completely shakes up our perception of who we are, and who we need to be, we need companions who can help us remember our truth. We need people who know us well enough to remind us of the Divine spark within that is as much part of us as our fears and uncertainties.
Rarely do we feel our vulnerability more than when we are in the throes of abductions and initiations of soul. They are meant to reduce us to our hidden essence, and in so doing, anchor us in our inner wisdom. To get to this essence, however, we must experience a shedding of our protective layers, everything external to which we have attached our worth and our security. It is our gentle and loving companions who accompany us in this vulnerability who hold the space for us to rediscover our inner truth.
These companions may be friends who have known us for so long that our shared history helps anchor us in our times of inner reweaving. Perhaps we are fortunate enough to have found communities of soul, people who are also committed to inner growth and who know how to sit with those whose hearts ache in the process. A spiritual director can be both a compassionate listener and a wise guide on this inner journey.
If you are reading this blog, it is likely you have encountered inner initiation experiences. We don’t seek them out or choose them. Yet, if we are committed to soul-growth, they will happen to us, and happen more than once. May you be blessed with exactly the companionship you need in these times, those who can reflect your worth back to you, those who can sit with you as you bear your losses, and those who can remind you that your ache and struggle is not in vain.
May we journey well together.
